Want to Be an Influencer? Read This First.

Illustration by Benjamen Purvis

For our November issue, this is part of a series on influencers and content creators.

It’s no secret that most successful influencers live a life of freebies. Those champagne toasts at Boston’s newest hotspot, the luxury facials, the Seaport martini bars flooding your feed? Almost always comped. But for every Instagrammer hoisting bubbly on a balcony, there are 10 more clamoring to get past the velvet rope—sometimes a bit too boldly, and often with wildly inflated expectations about what they’re owed.

In other words, that viral post about light therapy or the new natural wine bar didn’t just happen. Behind every comped experience is a business owner, publicist, or hospitality gatekeeper who did their homework before extending the invitation before inviting the person behind the handle to sample the wares. They research follower counts, engagement rates, aesthetic fit. They call around to industry colleagues to see if this person’s posts actually moved the needle. 

“You’re not only asking [an influencer] for all their data, but then also saying: ‘Who have you visited, and where have you been?’ [Then] you call those hotels and destinations, and say, ‘Hey, what did they do for you?” says Christina Pappas, head of the Massachusetts Lodging Association. “It’s a little bit of work. It’s not as simple as, ‘Oh, I like your posts.’”

It’s strategic, it’s calculated—and when influencers forget that, things can go spectacularly wrong. Here, publicists and professional gatekeepers reveal the unwritten rules of influencer etiquette.

1. Keep the Asks Reasonable.

Should be a no-brainer, but some gall knows no bounds. “I’ve had someone ask if a client could cater a holiday dinner for their family, complete with pies and sides,” says one well-connected publicist. “I’ve also had people ask if a client could cater a marathon party for them—and 12 friends.”

There’s often a hospitality-world irony: The lower the follower count, the bigger the ask. Pappas, for instance, is frequently asked for free hotel stays. “They want to come with their husband, three kids, and nanny,” she says. “Then you look at [their] numbers, and they have 12 followers.”

Treat a dinner out like a night with your significant other’s parents. In other words: Don’t get blasted and order the priciest items on the menu, or you’ll be on an indefinite #hiatus.

“The influencers I love working with show up on time, are appreciative, kind to the staff, and order within their means,” says one longtime restaurant publicist.

@daadisnacks support Sophie’s Cork & Ale #influencer ♬ original sound – Daadi

2. Don’t Go Rogue.

“We had an influencer coming in with a party of two in exchange for content, a comped meal. That person then called the restaurant directly to change it to a party of four—on Father’s Day,” says one PR pro.

“We also had someone go in under the influence and pass out at a table and had an influencer recently go in and ring up $900 bills, back-to-back,” says another publicist. Needless to say, these boors have been blacklisted.

3. Show Up or Shut Up.

Media nights, wherein media members and influencers are invited to a business at a specific time, are orchestrated for a reason. “It’s worth the investment, because it’s buzzy. I have everybody post at the same time,” says a publicist.

They’re also costly: comped cocktails, bites, goodie bags. “If you choose not to answer me, and then you want to go in again [at a different time], I can’t justify that cost [to my client]. I already did my event.”

4. Brand Yourself, and Pitch Accordingly.

If your aesthetic is bohemian, don’t expect a free night at a proper New England inn. Match your look to your ask. “Good [influencers] have set audiences, or they have a certain aesthetic,” says Christina Pappas. “You’re finding people who match up with your story or your [brand’s] aesthetic.”

5. Don’t F*ck with Bots.

“A lot of influencers will have 60,000 ‘followers.’ But when you open that follower list, it’s all offshore,” says one suspicious publicist. “Or they’ll say they have 20,000 to 30,000 followers, but then they’re getting 30 likes. When we work with influencers whom we’re not familiar with, the first thing we look at is their list of followers to see if it’s actually organic.”

6. Be Transparent.

A reputable influencer shares their analytics. “They’ll share because they’re proud to share,” says Pappas.

Hiding like counts, conversely, rings alarms. “There’s a really large group [of aspiring influencers] who are just so shady,” says a publicist who avoids these secretive types. “They don’t disclose their likes anymore; they shut their likes off. You never know what their engagement is.”

Views are another thing to keep an eye on: “If an ‘influencer’ on Instagram has tens of thousands of views but only a handful of likes (and only comments from other ‘influencers’), that’s a major red flag,” says Chris Haynes, president of CBH Communications. “Views can be bought very cheaply—and unlike likes or comments, they don’t reveal who actually engaged.”

7. Caption Thoughtfully.

Reliable influencers do more than take pretty photos and shoot quick-hit video reels. They also curate their captions. “The primary thing I ask is that your content look destination-specific. If you’re at Hidden Pond, it should look like you’re in the woods in Maine and not standing in front of a white wall talking about how you had a great time,” says hospitality publicist Bryan Barbieri, founder of Bryan Barbieri Communications. “I ask that the caption speak to what spoke to you. I don’t want an inspirational quote about how you keep climbing every mountain, I want something about your experience.”

8. Remember: ‘Influencing’ Is Harder than it Looks. (No, Really.)

The influencer dream can often become a nightmare. “Over the years, it has been a crazy world because everyone thinks they can be an influencer. So many of them have left their real jobs to become an influencer because they’ve seen other people be successful at it, but because they don’t have good business ethics, they quickly become unsuccessful,” says one PR pro. “A lot of influencers are coming to us, applying for jobs because they’re not cutting it [on their own].”

See also: Welcome to the ‘News Jungle’: Boston Influencers and the Future of Local Media

First published in the print edition of our November 2025 issue, as part of our “The Relentless, (Sometimes) Lucrative, Surprisingly Wild World of Boston Influencers” package.